Peace and Simplicity

Here we are in the middle of November, and we have finally crossed into the time of the year I like to call Sweater Weather. It's time for hot cider and cookies and fires and if you are me, lots of hugs. At the center of all of this though is the need for a good sweater, and so today a good friend of mine and I went on the quest to the local Target to find this sweater that I happen to be searching for. After looking at all that Target has to offer, I found it, the perfect comfort sweater. Now, I know reading this you are probably wondering why this girl is making a big deal about her new sweater. But, it honestly was the beginning of one of the most peaceful and beautiful evenings of my year. After our shopping efforts, my friend and I went to see one of his friends who happens to be a sister who spends every day taking care of children, and the single women who are going to class at the same time as raising their children. She spends every day giving herself completely so that other people can change their lives and make their world better for their children, I mean how absolutely perfect is that?! And she was SO HAPPY. Like the woman never stopped laughing and smiling and it was absolutely wonderful. She was loving God by loving others. Speaking of loving God, my friend and I then went to mass at a beautiful church, and when we walked through the doors I felt so at home, because I was so at peace with where I was and with the God I love loving me. On our way back from mass, my friend and I prayed the rosary and I have never felt God love rushing through a car as much as I did in those moments. In these type of nights I think we are reminded of the goodness of the world. It's not in something extravagant, but its in the moments of love and peace that you get when you meet someone amazing or walk in the doors of a beautiful church. SO, I bid you all a very happy season of sweater weather, and I hope you remember to enjoy the simple moments that can turn your whole week around. As always, God is good, all the time.

All of Me

Some people spend their whole lives searching for the right person to give their heart to, and in the end I think too much time trying to figure out who to love. We should just love everyone and when this "right" person shows up, we'll be able to tell because they will be pouring their hearts out to the world too. I don't want to spend the rest of my life searching, because isn't this life all about the adventure anyway? You're going to miss out on all the greatness in life if you spend all your time searching for something. Honestly, if you are searching for someone to fill a void in you then you aren't fit to be in a relationship. Christ should be the center and if you aren't satisfied with the man who gave his life, and took on the weight of the world just because he loves you that much, then you need to get your priorities straight, and figure out where the true source of happiness is. You aren't going to find happiness in another person because that is not their job. The only way to be happy is for you to decide to be happy.

I want to one day be able to give my heart to someone properly, but for now I just want to live and love everyone I meet every second of every day. I am amazed that there are so many beautiful people in our world and I am able to spend my entire life loving each and every one of them that I get the opportunity to meet. When I die I want to be able to say that I gave all of me to all the people in the world, because that's all I truly have to offer, and that has to be enough, because that's what the most incredible man in the universe did. Just remember how incredibly loved you are, and I hope one day I am able to take a moment to love you, because I want to give you all that I have to offer.

He Heals the Broken Hearted

When I was younger I never understood the term broken heart. How on earth was a heart able to break, and if it did break, how do you put it back together? Well, I have to admit I'm not sure how to put a broken heart back together, I'm still working on that, but I do know what it is like to have my heart broken. I had never let myself be close to anyone. I am often driven by fear. Fear restricts my relationships and my ability to love other people, and I decided when I showed up at college I was going to stop this constant fear. So, I put myself out there and it was beautiful. It was so beautiful to be so vulnerable and at the same time I was able to feel safe. It was the most perfect experience, but sometimes it doesn't end the way you might have hoped. My best friend was a boy who I trusted more then I had ever trusted anyone. But, as it would seem, God had different plans for me then I did. I have felt as if my entire world was caving around me, and my heart physically hurt. Loosing your best friend is something that no one can ever understand because your relationship is so different then any other. No one understands because they can't, and you feel lost and as if the weight of the world in on your shoulders. But in the end you have to pretend like everything is okay. I'm here to let you know that it's okay to feel like that. I have spent my entire life trying to be strong in every situation, and I have felt a lot of things most people couldn't even imagine, but heartbreak is the one that actually gets to me. That feeling of being unwanted and unloved is so against that our nature that it truly does  hurt the most.  It sucks. I wish I had some useful advice on how to get out of it but I don't, all I know is at the end of the day you will find that it does get better. Although there are a billion things that seem impossible between now and then, you do figure it out. One day you are just going to wake up and instead of having the gashing hole in your heart, its just going to be numb, and someday I hope to say the numbness goes away and we just end up okay. Life is never going to be easy, but I'm not sure if I'd ever want it to be, because without heartbreak and without all the struggle, we would't have a reason to pray, and we wouldn't have a reason to come closer to God. In the end all the pain we go through has worth, and means we are destined for something so much better then what this earth can offer. I'd take a better tomorrow over a better today, because it leaves us with so much hope. And one day we will all smile with HIM because we waited for the real MVP. God is good all the time. Even in our darkest hours He's there. The only way we can get past it and move on is if we try to trust Him even more. To all those struggling, know that I am praying for you. And don't forget, God is Love.

I'll love you forever

People come and go in our lives, and it's extremely difficult to truly trust someone if people always leave. I've struggled with trust for years because I didn't want to let anyone in my life who could hurt me. I've struggled as I've slowly allowed each of my best friends into my life, and I've struggled when it was time for them to move on without me. My best friend from high school has had an incredible influence on my life. He has been my backbone and my sense of reason when I needed him and when I really needed it he held my heart so I wouldn't fall apart. He's been my biggest blessing and he has always had my back. This has been the friendship of a lifetime and trying to let him go has come with the greatest cost. Love is something special because love is what holds the world together. Without it, we wouldn't be able to live fully and we wouldn't come to know the most incredible parts of life. My love for my best friend will extend through the ages, because that kind of love doesn't die easy. But, as he moves on with his life I have been given the hardest task of letting him go. I think God challenges us to let go of the best things in our lives so we remember how valuable they are, and at the same time take the biggest leap of faith. We need to be reminded how little control we have. We also need to be reminded that better things are coming because that is the only reason the best things in life would be taken from us. I was so blessed to make some of the most amazing friends at school this year, but none of them can ever take the place in my heart that I gave to my best friend. Anger, Sadness, and Regret all follow loss, and though these plague us our entire lives, but we can't let them stop us from living. If anything we should live more fully because we know how important people are in our lives. Best friends are beautiful because they help us learn how to love in a way that we normally wouldn't and how to be vulnerable with someone else. It's hard to let people go, but without them you miss out on an awfully big adventure.






And for my high school best friend, know that I love you with my whole heart and I pray you have the greatest happiness in life, because you brought me a taste of the good life. You mean so much more to me then what I can put into words. Thanks again for everything.

Puppy Love

I was extremely blessed to be given the opportunity to spend the day with some of the most amazing people in the world, alongside 8 adorable German Shepherd puppies. To be quite honest I didn't expect what I saw, but there were some incredible moments. You see, people love puppies. They are so young and helpless, and at the same time they are goofy and joyful. People treat puppies in a very different way then they treat other human beings. In the moments you are spending with these beautiful creatures you are reveling in the kisses and the affection they give you, and you are giving them love in return.
With other people we don't always do this. We say we love each other, but do we really? We ignore people, and often we forget that they need love too. We become so self-centered that we forget what were made for. We were made to love and be loved, but we cannot be loved without first loving.  When you play with puppies, you just love them without reason and often without any thought of the love you may get in return. You don't count the cost. When we love other people we often decide we can only love them if they love us, and we will only do something if they will do something for us in return, but that isn't true love. We should love everyone at every moment without thinking of ourselves.  Jesus definitely wasn't thinking about himself when he died on the cross for us, and you would be hard pressed to find someone who doesn't think His death is an act of pure love. We are called to such a deep form of love that we cannot even imagine it. Why, then, can we not find it in our hearts to love everyone with reckless abandon, like we do for puppies. Our hearts are made to love, we shouldn't ever be selfish with that love and we should be trying to find more ways to give that love to the world. It's never about what others can do for you, it's about what you can do for them. "No one has greater love then this, to lay down one's life for one's friend." (John 15:13)

New Beginnings

The new year begins in a few short hours, and as I think about everything that has happened this year, I am grateful to be here celebrating 2015. This past year, my whole life changed. i graduated from high school, I left home, and I gave up everything that I cared about to follow the plan I believed God had for me. "Get up and follow me" has never felt so applicable to my life. I gave up all my friends, my family, and my hometown, but now I am blessed to have a new home and a group of the most amazing individuals as friends. This was the hardest year of my life, and yet it has been so rewarding. I have been afraid about the future my whole life, and now as I look to 2015 I realize I am no longer afraid. I made it this far, right? Don't get too caught up in past as you look back, but also don't get too caught up in what could be, live in the present because it contains everything that is. We are looking to new beginning, and it is full of everything we could imagine. Make it what you want, and make it yours. Don't let people tell you what to do or who to be, and know you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. If you could get through this year, you can get through everything that is to come. Take a deep breath and be prepared to begin, with the beginning of 2015, the wildest adventure you could possibly imagine. Take this year head on, and never let anything get in the way of what is most important. This is the time for new beginnings and this is the time to be everything you were made for, so Just Do It. Don't stress about make a new year's resolution, instead focus on making this new year everything you want it to be. And don't forget to laugh every opportunity you get, because laughter is the best medicine.  Happy New Year!!  :)

Beautifully Broken

I am often a mess. I can't match my clothes properly or do my hair..ever. I hate dressing up and sometimes I hate being a girl. I look at myself and I see all my problems. I see all the zits and all the parts of me I think need to be fixed.. the parts of me that aren't perfect. I see that I can't concentrate

on anything and I make a mess of everything. I over analyze every aspect of my life and often screw everything up for myself. I don't trust people and I've built up so many walls so that no one can hurt me..  I am broken. Shattered to bits and pieces that I thought no one would want to pick them up, and I even didn't think I could piece myself back together. I still often believe this. I think I am too messed up to be loved. But I am totally and completely wrong. Every day I am here I am reminded of how absolutely wrong I have been this entire time. Yes, I am broken.. I may even be as shattered as I think I am, but I am not too messed up be loved. Every piece of me that is broken makes me who I am, and guess what?  These flaws and broken bits of us are what make us beautiful. We are blessed with all these beautiful people in our lives, and the crazy thing is they are broken too. Yes, they may not be as broken as you, and they may never understand you, but someone out there does.

For the first time in my life I have found people I trust with everything I am, all my broken pieces and all my flaws. And although I don't normally feel beautiful on the outside, I know I was broken so I could be this person I am now. And this person that I have been molded into is beautiful. You are beautiful because these broken pieces are the world's best shot of getting you to fail, but you are still here pushing through. So what, you broke along the way. You aren't meant to withstand everything thrown at you. You are just expected to hold on until the sun comes after the storm. It's okay to be broken, it means you're are still alive. So, next time you feel like you're not beautiful remember you are taking this whole life thing one step at a time, and you are rocking it, because the world's got nothing on you. You were made by a God who loves you more then anything else, and you've got people in your life who think you are more amazing then you realize. You can do it all, and you are going to do it your own way, because you are beautifully broken into who you are, and I, for one, am so thankful you are who you are.

It's time for More Adventures

 Look around you and you are surrounded by so many amazing individuals and this earth is the most gorgeous thing possible. I have come across a deep love for adventure these last few months, and this desire to be closer to the earth and closer to God has created such a beautiful joy in my heart. Our generation has lost the beauty of the outside, when we could all benefit so much from it. God loved us so much he not only created us but he also created this beautiful earth. I used to want to spend most of my time watching TV or messing around on my phone and although I still I want to do both of those things, it's no longer my go-to activity. I would rather go on a real adventure: climb a mountain, hike through the woods, or even going to an empty field and watch the stars for a night. These have been some of the most beautiful moments in my life. I have been able to see the world for what it truly is, and the crazy thing about the world, is it's perfect without all the buildings and gadgets we have today. It was always perfect, we just thought we improved it, but instead we lost some of the amazing aspects of it.

I am amazed by the solid friendships I have made through all this exploring. My best friends are those people who love God and the earth as much as I do. We love to do simple things like take long walks through the woods just to enjoy each others' company. This is a beautiful experience because you really leave all the technology and stress of the world behind you and just allow yourself to be alive. I believe we were originally supposed to live like this. We were supposed to love each other and enjoy our lives in awe of God's power through the earth He has given us.  We spend so much time rushing from thing to thing. In school I rush from class to class to homework session to extracurricular activity, but I've begun to take moments to do tiny things like feel the sunlight on my face or take the long way to class so I can see the beautiful leaves on all the trees. These are so small but they are ways God can say "I Love You" everyday and you can be calm because you are not only one with yourself but also one with nature. It's a beautiful gift being alive, don't waste it. GO on adventures, SEE the world, and LOVE God.

Only One Thing To Do

Throughout my life, I have always been told that I had one thing to do everyday. That was it, just one simple thing, and that was to love. All I had to do was to love God with my whole heart and love everyone else in the world as much as I love myself. Jesus did say these were the most important commandments, but if we think about it, all we have to do everyday is love. That truly is the most important thing we need to do . In the first few weeks of college, I have found that I finally understand this. Living with 400 of your "closest friends"  isn't always easy, but you learn to see God in every single person at every stage. Sometimes love means being there to make someone laugh on their bad days, sometimes it means being the girl who goes to Wal-Mart with them because they don't want to go alone, and sometimes it just means sitting there and listening to them talk about their life. Love comes in all sorts of forms. I have found that even saying hi and smiling to someone is sometimes all
they need. I tend to sit in the Quad and say Hi to everyone who passes even if they don't know me, because you just need to be making other people's lives just a

bit better. I think that we've underestimated the importance of simple things, like smiling. It seems so small and stupid but we want to be wanted. Soemtimes we can't do that for people, but a simple smile can show them that yes, they are noticed and yes, they are important. My friends are always shocked that I talk to everyone, even if I don't know them. But why shouldn't I? They are just as important as my friends are, and they need to be loved too. They are the people you need to begin loving, because your friends already know you love them. I couldn't imagine my life without every single person in my life, and that includes the people I don't know very well. Most of our lives we struggle to find a purpose, but our  purpose is right in front of us. I have never felt like I wasn't worth something when I was spending my time loving someone else. Doesn't that contradict society right there? Society tells us to do what we want so we can be happy, but in truth we are happier when we are not thinking about ourselves at all and we are just focusing on the people around us. Life is so beautiful and it's time for us to start living like it.. and, of course, BE HAPPY.  Let everyone know who you are by the love you show to others.

Deep Breath

There are a lot of  things out there that stress us out these days. We have friends we are trying to impress, teachers we don't want to hate us, coaches and teams we don't want to let down, and about a billion other things that are breathing down our backs every day. It is extremely difficult to find a  moment just to breathe and sometimes just a moment when we can be ourselves. What if for one day we didn't care about what the rest of the world thought, and we just allowed ourselves to be, well, us.

We are such incredible beings, and we are loved with an incomparable love that nothing should worry us. If we think about it, when was the last time God didn't take care of everything? We get all worked up, and in the end, is it really worth it? We give ourselves to fear when God has already said, "Do Not Fear, Only Believe"(Mark 5:36). Believing in Him and trusting in Him is our greatest strength. Nothing is impossible for God, so why do we think we can't get everything done. I think it's time to step back and look at the world a little differently. Take a moment to look at the beautiful blue sky and think about how great it is to be alive. Smile at the people we meet and give each other a reason to smile, by doing this small act you can do a world of help to another person. Take a deep breath, and remember you can do this. It's hard sometimes and often we feel like we can't, but we are so blessed, we can do anything we put our minds to, we just have to give God just a little and he's going to do it all for us anyways. God is good all the time, so give yourself time to breathe. And always be you. We need more people to stop pretending to be someone else and start being themselves. You are wonderful, and don't ever forget it! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!

See You Soon!

Saying good-bye is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I don't enjoy that feeling when you think you may never see someone again. It's scary to think that people you have known your whole life might not be there anymore. Leaving for college is extremely scary because you go off on your own for the first time ever. I like to think of myself as a glass half full kind of girl, but when it comes to good-byes, I tend to be very pessimistic. Having said that, I think we all exaggerate letting go of these people because we believe in the worst case scenario, and think they are gone forever. This is ridiculous, our friends and family aren't dead, they are just on a different place on the same planet. They don't say it's a small world for no reason.. it really isn't all that big. We have the technology now that allows us to call people, and if that's not good enough we can Skype whenever we want and see each other's faces. Plus, coming from the same area, there is no way someone is just going to disappear.  We really do stress out too much about a made up scenario.

Leaving means you have the opportunity to love a whole new group of people
and it allows you to grow as a person. It opens up a whole new world and you can be who you really are without the pressure of people who have known you your entire life. You really be you! What a beautiful opportunity! As Kid President says, "You're Alive, You're Awesome, Live Like it!"  Well, it's time for us all to start living like it!
So for anyone going off to
college, don't be afraid of the inevitable goodbye, because guess what... YOU GOT THIS!

I, personally, am done with saying good-bye for good. We get so worked up about worrying about never seeing someone again we fail to see the wonderful people God has placed in our lives at that moment. So, I guess I'll See Ya Soon! Much Love to all of you!! I can't wait to see where the world takes us. You can't get rid of me yet!

Just Wanted to Say Thanks

Happy Summer!!!   It's crazy to look back and realize just two months ago I was freaking out about prom, finals, graduation, and everything in between.  And now I have officially graduated from Seton High School and I am looking forward to all that college has to offer me. But before I begin this incredible upcoming journey I wanted to say thank you. These last few years have been challenging, but I am incredibly blessed to have so many amazing people in my life who have helped me get through it all.

First, I would like to thank my family.  I mean without them, I wouldn't be who I am. They deal with every side of me, and they have been with me through it all. I always had my brother to make me laugh on my worst days, and my younger siblings to give me the best hugs. I've had so many late night talks with my sister just to get me through the week and sometimes just to get us through the night. (By the way these aren't ending because I'm leaving for college... you are stuck with me forever) I've always had someone to back me up. My parents have really been saints these last 18 years, I mean I'm something..but they never gave up on me and they always kept me going and I couldn't ever ask for a better set of role models in my life.

Next, to all the teachers and adults at Seton, thank you for all you have taught me these last four years. I learned so much from them and I am extremely thankful to have had this time with them. They were always there for me when I had a problem or needed advice. They are some of the strongest people I have ever met and often they were teaching us about life while keeping us laughing. Especially to Mrs. Carroll, who changed my life in the short time I have had the pleasure of knowing her, thank you. And to all the rest, I couldn't be more grateful to have them in my life.

Finally, to my incredible class, thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for allowing me to be apart of the best family I could ever ask for. You have all impacted me in an everlasting way and I cannot even begin to explain my love for you all. Thank you for all the AMS classes, the strange assemblies, and the Haiti loadings. Thank you for all the tech weeks, and all the plays(especially Alice). Thank you for all the cross country seasons and all the crazy escapades. Thank you for just being everything each of you are, I am so blessed to have you all in my life. I can't wait to see what the future holds for us all, and I'm so grateful to have you all with me.  I love you!!

Why Be Happy

Everyday we are given millions of decisions, right?  Some are pretty easy.. It's easy to say Yes I will eat that chocolate cake or No, I don't want any anchovies on my pizza. But sometimes these decisions aren't so easy and we really have to think about what we are doing, and some of these take a lot of prayer. 

One of the few decisions I have found to be the easiest is the one I try to make every morning. I decide to Be Happy. Now you might be thinking this girl is crazy, but in truth it really is our decision. I used to hate it when people told me to be happy because it's not like something I could just turn on and off, right? Wrong. We choose our attitude and in choosing to be happy or to try to be happy we are setting ourselves up for success. There is that old saying, "The prettiest thing a girl can wear is her smile," and there is a lot of truth to that statement. I see girls with makeup and without makeup and yes, that does make a difference. But that's just it... they look different. Not better, not worse, just different. When I see people smiling it's just like joy bursting through the soul. Every person who smiles lights up the world and makes it just a little bit brighter. We are so blessed, why shouldn't we smile? 

I am the first one to admit life isn't easy, but if we can make it a little better, why dont we try it? Let's all try to be just a bit happier... because it could do us all some good. Why don't we all try to Be Happy, each and every day. It could do us all some good.