Peace and Simplicity

Here we are in the middle of November, and we have finally crossed into the time of the year I like to call Sweater Weather. It's time for hot cider and cookies and fires and if you are me, lots of hugs. At the center of all of this though is the need for a good sweater, and so today a good friend of mine and I went on the quest to the local Target to find this sweater that I happen to be searching for. After looking at all that Target has to offer, I found it, the perfect comfort sweater. Now, I know reading this you are probably wondering why this girl is making a big deal about her new sweater. But, it honestly was the beginning of one of the most peaceful and beautiful evenings of my year. After our shopping efforts, my friend and I went to see one of his friends who happens to be a sister who spends every day taking care of children, and the single women who are going to class at the same time as raising their children. She spends every day giving herself completely so that other people can change their lives and make their world better for their children, I mean how absolutely perfect is that?! And she was SO HAPPY. Like the woman never stopped laughing and smiling and it was absolutely wonderful. She was loving God by loving others. Speaking of loving God, my friend and I then went to mass at a beautiful church, and when we walked through the doors I felt so at home, because I was so at peace with where I was and with the God I love loving me. On our way back from mass, my friend and I prayed the rosary and I have never felt God love rushing through a car as much as I did in those moments. In these type of nights I think we are reminded of the goodness of the world. It's not in something extravagant, but its in the moments of love and peace that you get when you meet someone amazing or walk in the doors of a beautiful church. SO, I bid you all a very happy season of sweater weather, and I hope you remember to enjoy the simple moments that can turn your whole week around. As always, God is good, all the time.

All of Me

Some people spend their whole lives searching for the right person to give their heart to, and in the end I think too much time trying to figure out who to love. We should just love everyone and when this "right" person shows up, we'll be able to tell because they will be pouring their hearts out to the world too. I don't want to spend the rest of my life searching, because isn't this life all about the adventure anyway? You're going to miss out on all the greatness in life if you spend all your time searching for something. Honestly, if you are searching for someone to fill a void in you then you aren't fit to be in a relationship. Christ should be the center and if you aren't satisfied with the man who gave his life, and took on the weight of the world just because he loves you that much, then you need to get your priorities straight, and figure out where the true source of happiness is. You aren't going to find happiness in another person because that is not their job. The only way to be happy is for you to decide to be happy.

I want to one day be able to give my heart to someone properly, but for now I just want to live and love everyone I meet every second of every day. I am amazed that there are so many beautiful people in our world and I am able to spend my entire life loving each and every one of them that I get the opportunity to meet. When I die I want to be able to say that I gave all of me to all the people in the world, because that's all I truly have to offer, and that has to be enough, because that's what the most incredible man in the universe did. Just remember how incredibly loved you are, and I hope one day I am able to take a moment to love you, because I want to give you all that I have to offer.

He Heals the Broken Hearted

When I was younger I never understood the term broken heart. How on earth was a heart able to break, and if it did break, how do you put it back together? Well, I have to admit I'm not sure how to put a broken heart back together, I'm still working on that, but I do know what it is like to have my heart broken. I had never let myself be close to anyone. I am often driven by fear. Fear restricts my relationships and my ability to love other people, and I decided when I showed up at college I was going to stop this constant fear. So, I put myself out there and it was beautiful. It was so beautiful to be so vulnerable and at the same time I was able to feel safe. It was the most perfect experience, but sometimes it doesn't end the way you might have hoped. My best friend was a boy who I trusted more then I had ever trusted anyone. But, as it would seem, God had different plans for me then I did. I have felt as if my entire world was caving around me, and my heart physically hurt. Loosing your best friend is something that no one can ever understand because your relationship is so different then any other. No one understands because they can't, and you feel lost and as if the weight of the world in on your shoulders. But in the end you have to pretend like everything is okay. I'm here to let you know that it's okay to feel like that. I have spent my entire life trying to be strong in every situation, and I have felt a lot of things most people couldn't even imagine, but heartbreak is the one that actually gets to me. That feeling of being unwanted and unloved is so against that our nature that it truly does  hurt the most.  It sucks. I wish I had some useful advice on how to get out of it but I don't, all I know is at the end of the day you will find that it does get better. Although there are a billion things that seem impossible between now and then, you do figure it out. One day you are just going to wake up and instead of having the gashing hole in your heart, its just going to be numb, and someday I hope to say the numbness goes away and we just end up okay. Life is never going to be easy, but I'm not sure if I'd ever want it to be, because without heartbreak and without all the struggle, we would't have a reason to pray, and we wouldn't have a reason to come closer to God. In the end all the pain we go through has worth, and means we are destined for something so much better then what this earth can offer. I'd take a better tomorrow over a better today, because it leaves us with so much hope. And one day we will all smile with HIM because we waited for the real MVP. God is good all the time. Even in our darkest hours He's there. The only way we can get past it and move on is if we try to trust Him even more. To all those struggling, know that I am praying for you. And don't forget, God is Love.

I'll love you forever

People come and go in our lives, and it's extremely difficult to truly trust someone if people always leave. I've struggled with trust for years because I didn't want to let anyone in my life who could hurt me. I've struggled as I've slowly allowed each of my best friends into my life, and I've struggled when it was time for them to move on without me. My best friend from high school has had an incredible influence on my life. He has been my backbone and my sense of reason when I needed him and when I really needed it he held my heart so I wouldn't fall apart. He's been my biggest blessing and he has always had my back. This has been the friendship of a lifetime and trying to let him go has come with the greatest cost. Love is something special because love is what holds the world together. Without it, we wouldn't be able to live fully and we wouldn't come to know the most incredible parts of life. My love for my best friend will extend through the ages, because that kind of love doesn't die easy. But, as he moves on with his life I have been given the hardest task of letting him go. I think God challenges us to let go of the best things in our lives so we remember how valuable they are, and at the same time take the biggest leap of faith. We need to be reminded how little control we have. We also need to be reminded that better things are coming because that is the only reason the best things in life would be taken from us. I was so blessed to make some of the most amazing friends at school this year, but none of them can ever take the place in my heart that I gave to my best friend. Anger, Sadness, and Regret all follow loss, and though these plague us our entire lives, but we can't let them stop us from living. If anything we should live more fully because we know how important people are in our lives. Best friends are beautiful because they help us learn how to love in a way that we normally wouldn't and how to be vulnerable with someone else. It's hard to let people go, but without them you miss out on an awfully big adventure.






And for my high school best friend, know that I love you with my whole heart and I pray you have the greatest happiness in life, because you brought me a taste of the good life. You mean so much more to me then what I can put into words. Thanks again for everything.

Puppy Love

I was extremely blessed to be given the opportunity to spend the day with some of the most amazing people in the world, alongside 8 adorable German Shepherd puppies. To be quite honest I didn't expect what I saw, but there were some incredible moments. You see, people love puppies. They are so young and helpless, and at the same time they are goofy and joyful. People treat puppies in a very different way then they treat other human beings. In the moments you are spending with these beautiful creatures you are reveling in the kisses and the affection they give you, and you are giving them love in return.
With other people we don't always do this. We say we love each other, but do we really? We ignore people, and often we forget that they need love too. We become so self-centered that we forget what were made for. We were made to love and be loved, but we cannot be loved without first loving.  When you play with puppies, you just love them without reason and often without any thought of the love you may get in return. You don't count the cost. When we love other people we often decide we can only love them if they love us, and we will only do something if they will do something for us in return, but that isn't true love. We should love everyone at every moment without thinking of ourselves.  Jesus definitely wasn't thinking about himself when he died on the cross for us, and you would be hard pressed to find someone who doesn't think His death is an act of pure love. We are called to such a deep form of love that we cannot even imagine it. Why, then, can we not find it in our hearts to love everyone with reckless abandon, like we do for puppies. Our hearts are made to love, we shouldn't ever be selfish with that love and we should be trying to find more ways to give that love to the world. It's never about what others can do for you, it's about what you can do for them. "No one has greater love then this, to lay down one's life for one's friend." (John 15:13)

New Beginnings

The new year begins in a few short hours, and as I think about everything that has happened this year, I am grateful to be here celebrating 2015. This past year, my whole life changed. i graduated from high school, I left home, and I gave up everything that I cared about to follow the plan I believed God had for me. "Get up and follow me" has never felt so applicable to my life. I gave up all my friends, my family, and my hometown, but now I am blessed to have a new home and a group of the most amazing individuals as friends. This was the hardest year of my life, and yet it has been so rewarding. I have been afraid about the future my whole life, and now as I look to 2015 I realize I am no longer afraid. I made it this far, right? Don't get too caught up in past as you look back, but also don't get too caught up in what could be, live in the present because it contains everything that is. We are looking to new beginning, and it is full of everything we could imagine. Make it what you want, and make it yours. Don't let people tell you what to do or who to be, and know you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. If you could get through this year, you can get through everything that is to come. Take a deep breath and be prepared to begin, with the beginning of 2015, the wildest adventure you could possibly imagine. Take this year head on, and never let anything get in the way of what is most important. This is the time for new beginnings and this is the time to be everything you were made for, so Just Do It. Don't stress about make a new year's resolution, instead focus on making this new year everything you want it to be. And don't forget to laugh every opportunity you get, because laughter is the best medicine.  Happy New Year!!  :)

Beautifully Broken

I am often a mess. I can't match my clothes properly or do my hair..ever. I hate dressing up and sometimes I hate being a girl. I look at myself and I see all my problems. I see all the zits and all the parts of me I think need to be fixed.. the parts of me that aren't perfect. I see that I can't concentrate

on anything and I make a mess of everything. I over analyze every aspect of my life and often screw everything up for myself. I don't trust people and I've built up so many walls so that no one can hurt me..  I am broken. Shattered to bits and pieces that I thought no one would want to pick them up, and I even didn't think I could piece myself back together. I still often believe this. I think I am too messed up to be loved. But I am totally and completely wrong. Every day I am here I am reminded of how absolutely wrong I have been this entire time. Yes, I am broken.. I may even be as shattered as I think I am, but I am not too messed up be loved. Every piece of me that is broken makes me who I am, and guess what?  These flaws and broken bits of us are what make us beautiful. We are blessed with all these beautiful people in our lives, and the crazy thing is they are broken too. Yes, they may not be as broken as you, and they may never understand you, but someone out there does.

For the first time in my life I have found people I trust with everything I am, all my broken pieces and all my flaws. And although I don't normally feel beautiful on the outside, I know I was broken so I could be this person I am now. And this person that I have been molded into is beautiful. You are beautiful because these broken pieces are the world's best shot of getting you to fail, but you are still here pushing through. So what, you broke along the way. You aren't meant to withstand everything thrown at you. You are just expected to hold on until the sun comes after the storm. It's okay to be broken, it means you're are still alive. So, next time you feel like you're not beautiful remember you are taking this whole life thing one step at a time, and you are rocking it, because the world's got nothing on you. You were made by a God who loves you more then anything else, and you've got people in your life who think you are more amazing then you realize. You can do it all, and you are going to do it your own way, because you are beautifully broken into who you are, and I, for one, am so thankful you are who you are.