He Heals the Broken Hearted

When I was younger I never understood the term broken heart. How on earth was a heart able to break, and if it did break, how do you put it back together? Well, I have to admit I'm not sure how to put a broken heart back together, I'm still working on that, but I do know what it is like to have my heart broken. I had never let myself be close to anyone. I am often driven by fear. Fear restricts my relationships and my ability to love other people, and I decided when I showed up at college I was going to stop this constant fear. So, I put myself out there and it was beautiful. It was so beautiful to be so vulnerable and at the same time I was able to feel safe. It was the most perfect experience, but sometimes it doesn't end the way you might have hoped. My best friend was a boy who I trusted more then I had ever trusted anyone. But, as it would seem, God had different plans for me then I did. I have felt as if my entire world was caving around me, and my heart physically hurt. Loosing your best friend is something that no one can ever understand because your relationship is so different then any other. No one understands because they can't, and you feel lost and as if the weight of the world in on your shoulders. But in the end you have to pretend like everything is okay. I'm here to let you know that it's okay to feel like that. I have spent my entire life trying to be strong in every situation, and I have felt a lot of things most people couldn't even imagine, but heartbreak is the one that actually gets to me. That feeling of being unwanted and unloved is so against that our nature that it truly does  hurt the most.  It sucks. I wish I had some useful advice on how to get out of it but I don't, all I know is at the end of the day you will find that it does get better. Although there are a billion things that seem impossible between now and then, you do figure it out. One day you are just going to wake up and instead of having the gashing hole in your heart, its just going to be numb, and someday I hope to say the numbness goes away and we just end up okay. Life is never going to be easy, but I'm not sure if I'd ever want it to be, because without heartbreak and without all the struggle, we would't have a reason to pray, and we wouldn't have a reason to come closer to God. In the end all the pain we go through has worth, and means we are destined for something so much better then what this earth can offer. I'd take a better tomorrow over a better today, because it leaves us with so much hope. And one day we will all smile with HIM because we waited for the real MVP. God is good all the time. Even in our darkest hours He's there. The only way we can get past it and move on is if we try to trust Him even more. To all those struggling, know that I am praying for you. And don't forget, God is Love.